Holding Space and Keeping Up

I feel that it could be easily argued that life is nothing more than a series of transitions. After all, isn't it commonly understood that the only constant is change?
We are born. We age. We die.
We eat food. We digest that food. We eliminate.
We breathe in. We breathe out.
Constant transition.

If you are an empathetic person, you likely have the drive to support others through periods of large life changes. This is no small feat! If you have ever been a helper as someone experienced a notable shift (life, death, recovery, etc) then you know that the person having the experience is not experiencing it alone. If you assist, you agree to take on some of their burden. That might look physical (helping someone move), emotional (sitting with a friend who is processing emotions, etc), or mental (being a sounding board for a logistical solution).

No matter your experience of holding space, you are playing a vital role which means that you are using your vital energy. Even if you are not directly in the midst of a major life event, helping someone through theirs is an energetic tax.

Let's think of self-care as a deposit into an energy savings account*. If you provide your energy for another person, you are spending from your energy savings. This means that you must replace that amount spent if you are going to help someone again. Hell, if you want to get through your own crazy life, you MUST have the appropriate energy reserves!

Here's a quick checklist for taking inventory on your energy reserves:

• How is your digestion? 
  • Are you predictably hungry? 
  • How does your belly feel after eating? 
  • Do you have regular bowel movements? 
• What is sleep like for you?
  • Are you able to fall asleep on your own or do you need chemical assistance?
  • What's the quality of your sleep? Deep? Interrupted?
  • How do you feel when you wake up? Rested? Resistant?
• How does your energy generally hold up through the day?
  • Do you require coffee, naps, alcohol, or other chemical assistance to keep you going at any point through your day?
  • How's your mood? Stable or variable?
  • What's the quality of your mind? Are you able to focus or are you more scattered?

The above list is a non-issue for the person experiencing a major life event. During birth and early postpartum, for example, a woman's digestion, sleep, and daily energy is severely outta whack. She gets a solid pass on worrying about this checklist! This list is intended for the helpers of people moving through life transitions. It is vitally important for those who hold space to have stellar energy reserves. Especially if they want to continue holding space in the future.

We're all in this together and we must know how to refill our energy savings so that we can STAY in it together.

If you are a professional who supports women through the transition of childbirth and are feeling like you could use some support of your own, check out my Sacred Support for Birth Professionals program. It's 8 weeks of harnessing your energy and filling up your savings account. Check out more info here.

No matter your position in a life event, you deserve to be supported. You can be happy. You can be healthy.